By Craig Sandok “It’s gotta be tough being married to a fashionista….” I get that more often than not when someone finds out what my wife does for a living. Truth is, it’s not tough at all. Prada pants go on one leg at a time, just like Target-brand jeans. I have made a few observations, however, that I wanted to pass along to other guys who are in a relationship with their own fashion-frenzied women:
- Whatever clothing you own – make sure it fits. If the shoulder seam falls somewhere on your bicep, the shirt is too big. If you can make out your belly button...too tight.
- Invest in basics. A t-shirt is how much??? Seriously – the first time I got the answer to that question I thought I was going to throw up. But after actually owning good basics – I’m talking about t-shirts that don’t come in 3-packs – I can see why you spend the money. They are more comfortable, softer and better fitting. If you take care of them and don’t trash them (like you do their multi-pack cousins) then they are worth the money.
- Denim. I used to shun designer denim. $150 for a pair of jeans – you’re crazy. Then I got a pair. Damn. So here is what I learned: get a pair of decent denim. A pair that fits. That said, keep your Target jeans, too – they have a place in every wardrobe. Bust out the designer jeans when you are going on a date. When you are shoveling your driveway, el-cheapo jeans are the way to go.
- I learned this early on: if you have a favorite shirt, it will likely be lost – not misplaced - but lost to the girl who will wear it to bed. I don’t shed a tear, I see my favorite Ralph Lauren button-down Oxford shirt almost every night. I just don’t get to wear it.
- There is a fine line between trendy and flamboyant. It’s okay to toe the line, but if you unsure of whether your outfit falls into the flamboyant camp, err on the conservative side. The truth is you can never go wrong with the classics. A clean white oxford shirt and jeans won’t go out of style (caveat: I’m told that jeans DO go out of style. If your jeans have a loop for a hammer, toss them.)
- I used to think that soap is soap. That same crap that I bought by the half-gallon at Target to fill the soap dispensers in the bathrooms used to be my face wash. It seemed to work, but apparently you need special soap for your face. This observation is still a mystery to me.
- In 9th grade, our science teacher told us that “nature abhors a vacuum.” After snickering because we were sure that ‘abhors’ was some sort of dirty word, we moved on. I came to understand this scientific law when we moved into our new house – one that had more closets than occupants. I think that the scientific principal can be summed up: empty closet space (E) will be filled at a rate equal to the mountain (M) of clothes that the woman has, multiplied by the available credit (C) offered by Visa (compounded if you have an American Express). Put another way: E=MC2. That’s relatively close to the way it works in my opinion. Solution – guard your closet space. The minute you have some tiny corner of your closet that isn’t being used, it will be filled. You will never get it back.
- If you wore it in college, donate it.
- Vintage clothing is cool for women. Vintage for men? (see above)
- Fashion week. I’ve been fortunate enough to go to Fashion Week a couple of times with my wife. Invariably, I get asked about how “hot” the models were. In all seriousness (and not because this is going on my wife’s blog) – they ain’t that hot. Really. In fact all of the models are awkwardly tall and look really hungry. That said, the designers who participate in Fashion Week DO have some unbelievable after-parties. THAT is where the beautiful people are.
- Well-groomed = trendy. Rugged = trendy. Somewhere in the middle? Not trendy.
- The most important thing I have learned is that guys have it easier in the wardrobe and grooming department than women do. When in doubt, we throw on a t-shirt and jeans. Women have it much harder. We should cut them some slack when it takes them over an hour to get ready. Go pour yourself a scotch and chill out while you earn points for being patient.